i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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