next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
