Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
