is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
