1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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