the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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