my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
