Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
