Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
