If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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