don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
