shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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