fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
