I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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