I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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