Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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