Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
