Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
