so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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