How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
