hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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