you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize