I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
