How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
