ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
