I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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