your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
