I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
