C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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