It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
