Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she smelled like a LAN party
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
