I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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