Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
