Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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