there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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