Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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