i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
