so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
