I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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