I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
