I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dick very happy bro
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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