You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
