Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
