Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
