that's an acceptable place to lick
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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