Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
