i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
