come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
