he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
