this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
