just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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