Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
