He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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