My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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