I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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