You made me cry and you don't even care
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
