FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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