i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
