Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
