why didn't you poke me back
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
