just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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